...it's not just about "being nice to everyone" or "not hating people because of how they look or act." It's about undoing what's been done, what still goes on. It's messy and smiling or walking the other way is not enough. If you believe all human beings are capable of the same great things ask yourself why so much inequality still exists? If you believe certain people or groups are less capable, ask yourself WHY? Then when you realize you have an instant answer to your own questions, understand it's been fed to you for quite some time. You don't even have to figure out the taste of it anymore or how it got there, you just spit it right out. Immediate, repeated answers are not as true as the ones that have been continually searched out, asked again, and reanswered with more truth and meaning each time. Dig deeper. Ask the tough questions and don't settle for YOUR first response. More importantly, don't sponge up all the trash the media dispels, constantly. From images of violence to scantily clad women, products you HAVE to purchase or own to be considered "normal," activities you have to participate in to be considered "normal," and the strange but proliferated image that "normal" is "white," or a very negatively stereotyped "minority."
I'm not "anti-White," I am learning to be anti-racist. I am also learning what it means to be White. As a white lady I've never had to ask that question the way people of color do every day of their lives in order to survive, in order to thrive. I don't have to defend my whiteness. But in many life situations that happen with people, such as a teenager becoming pregnant, or a mother having several children, the judgements fall very differently depending on the ethnicity of the people involved. A young Black woman is seen as irresponsible or trashy while a young White woman is seen as "having a supportive family" or "being strong for raising the child on her own." A Black mother may be seen as seeking out welfare or benefits whereas a White mother may be seen as "having such a beautiful, large family." When people who are not white get into positions of prestige or power, many people assume it's because of affirmative action which is a very loose legislature that mainly aims against discrimination of almost every group aside from White males due to that group always having had and still having the most dominance. Yet when a White person holds the same position they "worked very hard to get there." Most white people have breathed the "smog" of racial injustice and subliminal lies about why things are the way they are and that White privilege is just something "they" made up to try to create "reverse discrimination." Why does the word and reality of discrimination have a direction in the first place??? Discrimination is discrimination. Disadvantage is disadvantage and privilege is privilege no matter how you try to spin them. Let me reiterate: I am not "anti-White." I am White. I love myself and certain things about my heritage. Technically-speaking I am European-American with a heavy Swiss background. There are good and bad parts of our past and we'd be smart to remember both. I am looking for allies in this fight and it is a fight I intend to fight peacefully. If this post makes you angry, please take some time to cool off and then feel free to communicate with me about it. I certainly don't have all the answers, maybe hardly any but I am open to questions. That is how we all learn.
Homework - Read: online (now) article: White Privilege: unpacking the white backpack (I think...), The book "Why are all the black kids sitting together in the cafeteria?" by Beverly Daniel Tatum, Ph.D., and watch: You Tube clips on white privilege by Tim Wolf or the Young Turks. This was homework I found and gave myself so don't feel like I'm trying to teach any particular person, just whomever is open-minded enough to read and watch a little bit of potentially "new" but true and forward thinking.
Some of you may be thinking, "Oh, she's just doing this or thinking this way because she has a Black boyfriend." The fact of the matter is, according to what I've discovered, that has something to do with it for sure. Sometimes, our first true relationships with people from different backgrounds is the first time our spoon and smog-fed thoughts get challenged or our perspectives reconsidered. Unfortunately, we as a society are so steeped in media's false imagery / misinformation etc. and separated by our lack of understanding, lack of tolerance and unwillingess to be challenged that we could go our whole lives and never even know how toxic, how wrong we were or are about some of this stuff. It takes a lot to shake what's become so permanent in our minds. I for one am very grateful and will continue to learn as much as I can in my lifetime (trips, bumps and bruises along the way), regardless the state of my current relationship in the future.
This is no small undertaking and I'm not asking all of you to join me. The truth is painful but then like the bittersweet sameness of sorrow and joy, the truth WILL set you free.
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